Before we begin, I’d like to make one thing clear; this post is only tenuously about equal opportunities.
The title is about my attitude to alcohol, namely that I believe in equal opportunities for all alcohol. No beverage left behind. I started off with whiskey when I was a teen, gradually moving to vodka, JD, wine, cocktails....you get the picture. No, I never drank bad cider behind a wheelie bin or in a park, so glad I missed out on that disgusting ‘rite of passage’. Yuck.
My current love affair is with good old ale – the kind worshipped by beardy colourful jumper wearing train and coach spotting men since long before I were born.
Ale surprised me. I wasn’t expecting to like it. I had spent my whole life post-18 avoiding any sort of lager: fizzy, no taste, urine resembling nastiness. I had a brief sojourn with a famous American lager shortly after turning 18 and that put me off for life.
The love of ale crept up on me gradually; I’m not ashamed to say that it was Belgium which opened my eyes to the joys of beer. The fruit beers were just sweet enough to amuse my young palate and strong enough to provide a respite from the pocket-damaging effect of spirits. The first beer I ever loved was Mort Subite Gueuze (Morte Subite = Sudden death), a love which has continued to this day.
Now I drink beer all the time. The first week in August is always beer festival time – the Great British Beer Festival in Earls Court, a festival I have now been attending for 5 years. At first I was apprehensive and not sure if I would like it, I had heard as many as you probably have, that beer festivals are full of socially inept weirdos but that’s quite enough about the politicians (har).
I soon learnt that the festivals are almost churches of beer worship where people cheer each time someone loses control of their pint glass and it plummets to the floor. Ladies – I know you’ve spent many years complaining about having to stand in line for the loo but if you come to a beer festival the likelihood is there’ll be a queue for the men’s instead. There’ll be many opportunities to laugh and point. That’s not the only good thing though.
There are many, many stands containing many, many barrels of beer from all over the country and beyond. Even the USA, who would have you believe they don’t do proper beer. I now feel the need to name check my favourite west coast breweries – take a bow Rogue and Anchor Brewing!
There are those with a citrus tang, the smooth chocolate and coffee imbued dark and creamy beers, even those which taste like caramel.
Once you’ve tried a few you will know what I mean: there are as many different tastes available in the beer world as there are with the old vino.
The beers at the festival can be accompanied by a variety of tried and tested alcohol-soaking up foods. Admittedly there are the eternally unappetising pork scratchings but there are also stands with tens of pie and pasty varieties, curry, sausage and mash, fish n chips and a fresh seafood stall. It is a good night out unless you are a whingy and over-coiffed Australian male who once declared he could not be expected to eat in such a place and would never return *hic*. Not all beer festivals have such a range but similarly have a good range of traditional culinary accompaniments to beer such as bratwurst, currywurst and other European offerings. Tip: Good beer and good food often go together.
I find that it is easy to get to the bars most of the time because some of the men are not used to seeing females and gawp in shock, thereby giving up their place in the serving queue. Nah, I’m only joking, they are of course gentlemen who will jump at the chance of letting you get your drink before they get theirs.
A strange aspect of being a lady wot likes drinking beer is the reaction you get from bar staff and male ale drinkers. I’ve become used to the bemused looks from men as I carry my pint from bar to table and I am proud to shock them, maybe sometimes I even make an extra effort to look like a proper girly just so I can get even stronger reactions.
Sometimes I am annoyed. Sometimes when the bar person serving me re-confirms that I would like a pint or tries to describe a beer to me like I don’t know what I've just ordered, I feel aggrieved and wonder if they would have done that if I had been a man. Yes thank you I do know that I ordered a ‘mild’ (mild in question would be the Oscar Wilde – beer of the 2011 GBBF). Men I’ve spoken to about this say they are never asked to reconfirm if they would like a pint or, without enquiry, had qualities of beer described to them.
Anyhoo...my motto in life is now ‘Beer is good’. Next time you’re in a pub which happens to serve nice real ale or two, please consider having a go. If you’re not sure what you’re gonna like, please ask the nice accommodating barperson if you can sample one or two before you make your choice. My hope is that you will then also love it, leading to more and more pubs offering more than just the black stuff, the pale fizzy tasteless stuff and generic cider.
All hail to the ale and not necessarily a fruit based drink for the lady.
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